In The Beginning

We are the Webbs, Sam and Gabe.

The story of our birth, separation, and reunion is often misrepresented or misunderstood. We would like to take this opportunity to present the complete truth and shed light on details that may not have been publicly known.

We were born on a U.S. Navy ship in the Panama Canal. Our father was Kenyan. We were educated in Mexico City, learning letters from a reclusive tutor who always wore a paper bag on his head and learning art from a woman with a single eyebrow. In adolescence we were separated. I, Sam, became an ambulance driver in Paris during the First World War. My brother, Gabe, became an obsessive New England fisherman who constantly hunted an albino whale. After years of fruitless toil, Gabe became so fed-up with his elusive whale foe that he decided to have his memory erased through an experimental procedure. The process left him with no recollection of his past, including his brother. At the outbreak of the Second World War, I worked for an office of the Allies that investigated any kind of paranormal connection between man and Germany’s experimental V2 rockets. It was also during that time that I discovered a strange connection to the rocket that I would not like to discuss via this blog. The horrors of war unfolding before my eyes caused me to become unstuck in time, leaving me with no understanding of where or who I was. Ten years of unknown separation, however, was no match for the complex computer algorithm created by Deb Vetter.

Upon our individual arrivals to Asbury College, the Transition and Guidance Program united us. We sensed each other’s martial arts prowess and entered into a duel after Gabe called me "a dangerous man, and one who ought not be trusted with the reins of government." The duel was exclusively fisticuffs and ended in a draw after discovering that we possessed nearly identical fighting styles. Out of respect for finding such worthy opponents, we quickly formed a friendship. As time progressed, it became clear that our connection was no mere coincidence. Following a strange incident involving floating vegetables and a ghostly purple glow upon any physical contact between us, we realized that we were indeed twins.

Today, we continue to discover the depths of our unusual twin powers, as well as indulge in copious amounts of campy movies, zombie lore, and beat boxing.

Through this blog, this Webb log, we will attempt to make you laugh, cry, bleed from the eyes, and cough up bile. Two of those will happen. Which ones?

We don’t know.